For the past four years, I have been teaching six days a week, working evening duties, and tutoring up to 16 hours per week. In November, the toll of my busy schedule caught up with me. I had been experiencing daily headaches that were becoming more intense and unbearable. My doctor diagnosed me with stress after conducting relevant tests, and I had been waiting for cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) since July.
During the summer holiday, I consciously decided not to overwork myself for the first time in a decade. However, I realized that even when I eliminated all the background noise from my life, I still felt anxious. Unfortunately, that feeling never went away, and with the added workload from my four jobs, I felt weaker than before summer. I turned to Google to search for answers, and I came across the symptoms of burnout, which described the emotional responses I was feeling towards my life:
These symptoms resonated with me, and for the first time, I questioned why I was chasing the promotion to Assistant Head. Pursuing the position would mean a significant increase in workload, and I would have to give up or reduce my side hustles. Despite my treasure trove of experience with senior leadership team (SLT) interviews, I couldn't land the jobs I interviewed for, and the workload created by hybrid working had doubled since covid, which fuelled my anxiety. Fortunately, I had held my role at my day job for many years, meaning that I was more than qualified for my role, even though I continued feeling inadequate. As someone who has always been driven and dedicated to their work, hitting the wall of burnout was a shock to my system. For years, I prided myself on being able to juggle multiple jobs and responsibilities, always pushing myself to do more and achieve more. But as the years went by, the toll of that lifestyle became increasingly clear. My health was suffering, both physically and mentally, and I was starting to feel like a shadow of my former self. The symptoms of burnout were all too familiar to me - the sense of inadequacy, the feeling of being overwhelmed by adversity, the isolation from others. It was as if all the emotional responses I had been suppressing for so long had finally surfaced. And yet, even in the midst of this struggle, I found myself wondering if pursuing a promotion to Assistant Head was worth sacrificing my well-being and other passions. While waiting for my CBT sessions to begin, I took some time to reflect on my life and priorities. I realized that I loved teaching and tutoring but needed to set boundaries and prioritize self-care. It was a difficult decision, but I stepped back from my side hustles and focused on my day job. I also made a conscious effort to connect more with colleagues and loved ones, recognizing that my sense of isolation was exacerbating my anxiety. Today, I am still on the road to recovery, but I feel like I am finally on the right path. I am taking things one day at a time, learning to be kinder to myself in the process. I hope that sharing my experience can help others who may be struggling with burnout or similar challenges. Remember, it's okay to take a step back and prioritize your well-being - in fact, it's necessary for your long-term success and happiness.
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AuthorI'm a mother, wife, teacher and tutor in NW England on the road to Financial Independence. Archives
March 2023
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